The God Paradox

Disclaimer: This post isn’t going to be about whether God is real or imagined. But just the same, if you hate having your beliefs challenged, you might not want to read it. (Then again, if you hate having your beliefs challenged, then what’s the point of reading anything? You might as well just go to bed and hide under the blanket with your fingers in your eyes until you’re ninety.)

According to this article in the New York Times, a group of American Muslim scholars has made a YouTube video arguing against militant fundamentalism. “The Prophet Muhammad, when on the battlefield, saw that amongst the enemy there were innocent women and children killed, and he was openly angry,” one of them says. “He is prohibiting us from killing the innocent. It is very clear.”

Apparently most terrorists in the USA are internet-educated, so the scholars have decided that the best change of getting these peaceful messages to the people who need to hear them is to put them online too. Good plan - when a terrorist types “theological reasons not to commit terror-attacks” into Google, perhaps he’ll be converted.

Perhaps not.

Skepticism aside, what interested me about this was the idea that someone might change their religion based on one YouTube video, either towards militant fundamentalism or away from it. Surely anyone whose faith hinges on something so trivial can’t have had much to begin with?

But religion and choice have always had a complex relationship. I’m glad these scholars are talking people out of killing each other (some would argue that that’s the whole point of religion - more on that in a moment). But when they’re done with that, I’d like to ask for their help to solve a puzzle that’s been bothering me for a while. I call it the God Paradox.

Point 1: Everybody should be allowed to choose their religion. There’s a word for governments that don’t let practice their chosen faith: “fascist.” Similarly, there’s a word for religions that indoctrinate people against their will: “cults.” Both are words with very unpleasant connotations - like “squidge”, or “jowls.”

But unlike “squidge” or “jowls”, there are good reasons to dislike fascism and cults; freedom to choose is an essential ingredient of a civilised society.

(As a side-note, while Nazi Germany is the first thing most of us think of when we hear the word “fascist”, freedom of religion was actually one of the Nazi’s key weapons against the Soviet Union. Stalin was trying to exterminate religion because he didn’t think it was compatible with Marxism, so when the German soldiers invaded, they distributed pamphlets which read, “Join us! We will give you back your churches!”)

“Unless you’re Jewish, or a Jehova’s Witness, or a Gypsy. But if you’re Christian, you’re fine. Unless you’re black, Asian, disabled, gay, or ethnic Polish.” I wonder why the Soviets weren’t keen?

Point 2: If you’re raised in a religion, that’s not really choosing. Someone who has gone to a church or a temple or a mosque every weekend since they were born can hardly say they chose their religion - their parents chose it for them.

It’s possible to change your faith later in life, and some people do, but most of us don’t have the necessary combination of willpower and curiosity. Heck, most of us would still believe in Santa Claus if our parents hadn’t eventually ended the ruse.

Emily is 54, and her parents haven’t told her yet.

This is why you don’t count as a born-again Christian if you’re under 16. “Born again?” your elders will say. “You only just did it the first time!”

Point 3: The point of religion is to tell you what is ethical, what is moral, what is right. When the Old Testament, the Bible, and the Qur’an were being written, there was no such thing as CCTV, so the authors had to find other ways to make people behave themselves.

The most famous examples are “Thou shalt not kill” and “Thou shalt not steal, not even from bands whose albums have already gone platinum”, as well as something about your neighbour’s arse. Lesser-known ones include “It’s okay to eat locusts, but not beetles,” (Leviticus, 11:22) and “If some guy is beating you up and your wife tries to rescue you by grabbing his genitals, you should cut off her hand. Show her no pity.” (Deuteronomy, 25:11-12).

Point 4: When choosing your religion, you pick one that suits the ethical viewpoints you already hold. If you think it’s wrong to eat pigs or crustaceans, for example, you might find yourself drawn towards Judaism. But in that case, the moral guidelines aren’t coming from God, they’re coming from you. This defeats the entire purpose of being religious.

So there’s the paradox. Not being able to choose your religion is barbaric, cultist, fascist. But being able to choose makes it worthless.

Atheists have it easy. They don’t have to deal with this, because they don’t look to God for ethics. And fundamentalists are similarly lucky - they don’t believe anyone should be allowed to choose a religion other than theirs. But the rest of us are left somewhere in the uncomfortable middle-ground.

I’m not optimistic about the Muslim scholars reading this article and sending me the solution to this puzzle. But fortunately, I have access to some of the world’s smartest readers. (That would be you.)

If you’re moderately religious, post a comment. How do you deal with the paradox? Please, no rants about whether God exists or not, no trying to convert anyone to any particular point of view - just tell me what you tell yourself.



MITIFOTIT:
Most Interesting Thing I Found On The Internet Today

There’s now a section of NewPoe.com for book trailers! With eight videos so far and a new one every day, I think it’ll become very popular very quickly. Check it out!