10 Tips For Aspiring Theives

by Ashley Arthur

1 - Let people underestimate you
Forget balaclavas, body armour and utility belts. Thieves survive by looking harmless. If you’re a fifteen-year old girl like me, the best camouflage is a schoolbag and an iPod. The more boring – and bored – you look, the less anyone will suspect that you have a grappling hook launcher in your bag.

2 - Go for the big prizes
The likelihood of getting caught isn’t much decreased by stealing a hundred quid rather than a million. So it’s smart to aim high. Forget wallets and watches – seek out luxury cars and first-edition classic books. Always be on the lookout for that one big score which will get you and your family out of the gutter forever.

3 - Take only what you can sell
In 1911, a man stole the Mona Lisa and got away clean – but when he tried to sell it to a gallery, the curator had him arrested. The lesson here is, never steal anything unique. Go for things which are easily traded for cash. Diamonds are good. Gold is better.

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