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CROSSOVER - The Escape
‘You’re from the future,’ Ash repeated.
‘I need to talk to someone in charge,’ the boy said. ‘There’s not much time. No!’ He hesitated. ‘Wait. There’s lots of time. There’s decades. I’m in the past.’
‘The past? Decades? In charge of what?’ Ash was aware that she sounded ridiculous, but she was faced with a ridiculous situation. Surely the boy was insane — but how had he gotten here? He had appeared right in front of her eyes.
‘In charge of radioactive materials,’ the boy said. ‘Rare ones. If you don’t know who that is, perhaps you can tell me—’
‘I can tell you you’ll get arrested by the TRA if you ask anyone in charge of anything about radioactive materials,’ Ash said. ‘Who are you?’
‘What’s the TRA?’
Ash was a very, very good liar, and she could usually tell when someone else was. The boy looked completely honest. But if he hadn’t heard of Terrorism Risk Assessment, then where had he come from?
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Crossover - The Heist
‘So you’re telling me,’ Benjamin said, ‘that you can’t play the drums at all.’
Ash gritted her teeth. ‘I wasn’t supposed to have to. Tognetti was supposed to be on before me.’
‘Then what were all those lessons for?’
She was about to reply when the stage door swung open. Applause echoed through the halls of the conservatorium. A man with an earpiece and a lanyard leaned through the gap. ‘You’ll be on in two minutes, Miss Burnett.’
Ash tried to look confident and aloof. ‘Thank you.’
The man disappeared and the stage door swung shut, muffling the claps and whistles of the audience. Ash put the phone back to her ear.
‘What am I going to do?’ she hissed.
Benjamin sounded amused. ‘My guess is, you’re going to go out on stage and play the drums.’
‘But I don’t know how!’
‘Then do what you do best,’ Benjamin said. ‘Fake it.’
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Crossover - The Index
‘Everything?’ Six repeated.
Kyntak nodded.
‘Everything,’ Six said again.
‘That’s what I said.’
They were in Kyntak’s office at the Deck, hundreds of metres below street level. Kyntak sat in one of four swivel-chairs, his feet resting on another. Six remained standing, as usual. Years of unexpected flights from sudden dangers had left him feeling vulnerable whenever he was seated.
The office was decorated according to Kyntak’s unusual sense of humour. A tattered poster read You don’t have to be crazy to work here, but it helps to have a rocket launcher. Most Deck agents mounted old photographs of landscapes on their walls to take their minds off the fact that they were underground, but Kyntak had hung a picture of tightly packed dirt instead.
Six still wasn’t sure he understood. ‘Hoth Amet wanted to make an index of everything.’
‘That’s right.’
‘Every place, every person—’
‘Every book ever written, every advertisement ever broadcast, every sentence ever typed,’ Kyntak said. ‘Everything.’
‘Why?’
‘Some people said he was trying to make a point about the information age. Others thought he was just crazy. I suspect we’ll never know.’
‘But the index of everything already exists,’ Six said. ‘It’s called the internet.’
‘You’re only sixteen, so I’ll forgive that remark—’
‘We’re twins.’
‘—but Amet’s index was way, way bigger than the internet,’ Kyntak said, ignoring him. ‘It covered all aspects of everyday life, including—’
‘Wait. He actually did it?’
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The bizarre results of my self-publishing experiment
“You should self-publish! Even famous authors like Stephen King are doing it now!”
I’ve heard this argument a few times, and it seemed flawed. Firstly, “now”? Self-publishing is not a new thing. Beatrix Potter, Mark Twain and Edgar Allan Poe all self-published their first books.
Secondly, King has an established audience, and so has a lot to gain by self-publishing; he’ll get roughly 70% of the sale price instead of roughly 10%. Meanwhile, a 70% royalty may sound juicy to an unknown author, but they won’t sell many copies without a publisher backing them. (What’s 70% of $0, again?)
To prove this point, I wrote the first few chapters of two novellas and posted them online. One was called Crossover and was published under my own name. The other was posted under a nom de plume. Then I waited to see which one would get more hits.
After six days, the Jack Heath book had 421 views on Wattpad. Not too shabby, I thought – then I checked how my false identity was doing.
15,629 views. Holy crap.
This made no sense whatsoever to me, so I re-checked the numbers. After deducting the people who had visited the story twice, my nom de plume still had 9,691 hits (meaning that 5,938 people read chapter one and came back when chapter two was posted).
I’m not a scientist, and this is not a perfect experiment. The two stories were not the same, although personally I think Crossover is the better of the two. They were posted at different times, on different days (but both had six days to gain a readership). Both were available to read for free, which might sway risk-averse readers to trying a new author.
But I have a new theory. I think the strength of an established audience, a publisher’s resources, a good quality story and a social media marketing campaign are all insignificant compared to the biggest factor in any book’s success:
Luck.
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CROSSOVER – Chapter Two
The cars grumbled past, the sterilised rain poured down between the skyscrapers and the fog swirled around Six like ghosts of the millions who had died breathing it. His superhuman lungs were less susceptible to the toxins than most, but he wore a filtration mask like everyone else.
He was ChaoSonic’s most wanted. Standing out was a sure way to be killed.
Almost two months had passed since Soren Byre’s death. Six had completed several missions since then, but he still found himself scrubbing his face harder than he needed to each morning — he could still feel the droplets of her blood on his skin. Six was no stranger to death, nor to failure, but this event had stayed with him, perhaps because he had known Byre when she was a Deck agent.
By the time he spotted the razor wire of the ChaoSonic checkpoint up ahead, it was too late to turn back. Unmanned aerial vehicles would be circling above, armed with thermal cameras and ready to follow those who ran. Instead, Six joined the queue of shuffling pedestrians, hoping his fake triple C — ChaoSonic Citizen Card — would fool the armed guards…
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Prologue
The flash grenade was cold in Agent Six’s hand. A plastic bulb, filled with gunpowder, magnesium dust and a loop of copper wire. Having been so silent for so long – swimming through the maze of storm water drains, crawling slowly through the rubble-strewn courtyard – it was hard to convince himself to throw it.
But stealth had taken him as far as it would. A ring of soldiers surrounded the facility, goggled eyes sweeping the darkness, gloved fingers trembling on the triggers of Eagle automatic assault rifles. If Six was going to stop Soren Byre from activating the machine, he was going to need a distraction.
The grenade had no pin. Instead there was a switch – when it was flicked, the wire would heat up and up until it was hot enough to ignite the powder. It would take about three seconds.
Six adjusted his anti-flash goggles, inserted his moulded earplugs and pulled on his gloves. He removed the cap from a syringe, steadied his thumb on the plunger and tapped the chamber to remove the air bubbles from the grey fluid inside. Then, with his other hand, he hit the switch on the grenade.
He held it tight for one second. Two. Then he swung his arm and hurled it as far as he could…
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My new experiment
A while ago I asked my readers to vote on what my next project should be. The overwhelming answer was “a crossover novella featuring Ashley Arthur and Agent Six of Hearts”.
It took me a while to work out how I could get these two characters in the same room. But now that I have, I’m pretty confident that it’ll be awesome.
So, here’s the plan. I’m going to write this book, and when I finish each chapter, I’ll put it up on this blog. That way, you can read it for free, and you won’t have to wait for years and years – but in return, I want your feedback on the work in progress. Once the whole book is up, I’ll use your opinions to refine it before proper publication on Kobo, the iBookstore, B&N and more.
Crossover by Jack Heath is coming soon. Are you in?
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How to make invisible bookends
I just got some new shelves. What better way to celebrate than with some terrible acting?
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img via i-dobelieveincommas:
The real problem with e-books
Every time I’m interviewed, I get asked what I think “about this whole e-book thing”. I’d much rather talk about characters and plots and themes, so let me address e-books in just one blog post in the futile hope that I’ll never be asked again.
Do you have an e-reader?
Sure. A Kobo, which I really like. I sometimes use my wife’s Sony Reader as well.
What are the benefits of e-books?
They’re flexible and easy to distribute.
Plus, you can include audio and video in them!
That’s not an e-book, that’s a movie.
But it’s mostly text.
That’s a website.
But you can make them interactive.
That’s a video game. We’ve had those for decades.
But… they’re really cheap!
Yes. That’s basic economics – when supply goes up, price goes down. And the supply of e-books is unlimited. But when the price diminishes, so does the quality, which is why so many e-books have formatting errors, plot holes and so forth. The authors, agents, copy editors, proof readers and typesetters all have to work much, much more quickly to turn a profit.
So you don’t think e-books will replace books?
I think their market share will plateau at about 80%. Paper books are much cheaper to produce and to use than e-readers, both financially and ecologically. They won’t disappear entirely, especially since you can give them as gifts.
You can give an e-book as a gift.
Only if you know whether or not the recipient has an e-reader, what kind of device it is, which formats it’s compatible with, which online bookstores you can buy from… Until all e-readers accept the EPUB format, e-books won’t take off.
They’ve already taken off.
If you only look at the number of e-books sold, then yes, absolutely. But not if you look at the dollar value of those sales.
Don’t people still buy e-books for themselves?
A few people will, some of the time. But I’m looking at my bookshelves right now, and more than 90% of those titles were given to me by other people. The few I bought for myself, I bought because someone had already given me a book by the same author.
This is the real problem with e-books. The publishing industry has always been part of the gift industry.
Jack Heath, thanks for your time.
You’re a straw man, concocted by me. There’s no need to thank me.
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"Some might call me a hypocrite, you know why? Because the only flaws I really hate are the ones I see in myself."-
Bobby Haldenby
In defense of hypocrites
Hypothetical:
You’re a judge. You have two murderers on trial, both unquestionably guilty.
Jane killed four people without provocation. Her defense is this: she is a free woman in a free country and she should be allowed to kill whoever she likes.
Sally, meanwhile, has spent her life campaigning against murder. She recently participated in a march, holding up a sign which read “No such thing as justifiable homicide.” Shortly afterwards, she killed a man in order to steal his wallet (even though she was already wealthy).
So. Who gets the lesser sentence?
Here on the internet, we love to see two things: kittens and hypocrisy. It gets us excited when we find out that anti-piracy campaigner Lily Allen has been caught making mix tapes, or that a monument to American glass manufacturing was actually made in China. We hate people whose actions don’t match their words. So should we execute Sally and let Jane off with a warning?
Obviously not. While your words are important, your actions are even more so. Jane killed four times as many people, her punishment should be approximately four times more severe. Sally is on trial for murder, not hypocrisy.
There are two steps to being a good person.
- Know the right thing.
- Do the right thing.
They always happen separately, and they always happen in that order. People at Step 2 (good people) have a right to criticise those stuck at Step 1 (hypocrites). But the criticism seems to come instead from those at Step 0 (such as Jane). These people have opted to change their ethics to fit their behaviour, rather than the other way around. To use the Lily Allen example:
“I pirate music all the time, but at least I don’t go around telling people they shouldn’t! Lily Allen is such a hypocrite.”
You’re at Step 0. Fail.
My point is this: People hate hypocrites, and I can see why. But at least the hypocrites know what the right thing is (even if they don’t always do it).
P.S. The universe has a predisposition toward irony, so no doubt someone will find an example of me being a hypocrite and point it out in the comments section. Fair enough. But before you do, smart-arse, make sure you’re at Step 2.
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I heard you designed an app for Windows Phone.
Yep.
Why?
Because I was trying to exercise more often, surf the web less, write more quickly, eat less junk food… and I discovered that there were plenty of apps which help you quit a bad habit, but not many which help you cut down (or which help you boost a good one).
How does the Money Run app help with that?
You tell it what you want to do less of, and what you’d like to do more. Then every time to do one of those things, it adds or subtracts $10 million from your score.
Isn’t that a ludicrous amount?
Yep. That’s why it works. I started using the app ten days ago, and I haven’t bitten my nails once in all that time – because it would cost me $10 million.
But it’s not real money.
That doesn’t seem to matter to my brain, for some reason.
What’s the goal?
To get to $200 million, just like in the book. If you succeed, you get a reward.
What is it?
Not telling.
Where can I get it?
Here. It’s free.
Is it on iPhone or Android?
Not yet. If enough people express interest, I’ll arrange a version for those.
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Be the dog you want to see in the world
I went to a dog show today. Couldn’t help but vlog about it.
The review I’m referring to is this one.
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My disturbing crime novel
The Icarus Sessions are a series of 140-second presentations in which artists talk about their creations in an open way. This is mine.
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Why teen books are better than movies
Why is a nearly-naked Daniel Craig resting above? All shall be revealed. (The point of the image shall be revealed, I mean. The rest of Mr Craig will remain hidden.)
While VFX, lighting, acting and cinematography are generally improving, you might have noticed that the “story” component of most contemporary movies isn’t very good. Plot arcs are misshapen. Characters have unconvincing motives. Settings feel tacked-on.
And the movies that avoid these pitfalls tend to over-sexualise their characters. Why would Jill Valentine wear such a short skirt in a city full of razor-toothed zombies? Why does Mikaela Banes stand like that as she polishes her motorcycle?* Why does Jacob Black keep taking off his shirt?
I’m here to tell you that there’s a surprisingly good reason.
Movies are expensive creatures. Even the so-called “low-budget” ones tend to cost as much as a six-bedroom house. Filmmakers tend not to have much money of their own; they depend on investors get the movie made.
Once a screenplay is written, there are very few options for attracting investors.
- Rewrite the screenplay until it’s a sequel to an already-successful franchise, thus ruining the story. (Sequels are best, but prequels, remakes and rip-offs also work.)
- Get a big star involved, and rewrite the screenplay to fit their outrageous demands, thus ruining the story.
- Rewrite the screenplay so as it can be made using only the money in the screenwriter’s savings account, thus ruining the story (unless the screenwriter is Mark Zuckerberg).
- Make most of the characters mostly naked for most of the time.
You may have noticed that only one of these options doesn’t ruin the story. While unrealistic body image and objectification of women (and men – see Mr Craig and Jacob Black above) are big problems, if you want to make a good movie, constant nudity is actually the best option.
We have only ourselves to blame for this. The investors only fund the movies they think we will pay to see – and what we pay for are sequels with big stars getting naked.
This brings me to teen books. Money Run cost me nothing to write. When I wanted the teen thief to drive a sports car off a roof, I didn’t have to find any investors to make it happen. It wasn’t a sequel, or a remake, or a rip-off. I didn’t have to take away the thief’s clothes – I didn’t even have to make her beautiful.
It’s a shame that movies have gone the way they have. But if you’re looking for a good story, it’s the same place it’s always been; on the pages of a book.
*That’s Megan Fox’s character in the Transformers franchise, by the way. Those films took the unusual step of over-sexualising the characters and having terrible story-lines. They must have needed a lot of investors!
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Why teen fiction is more interesting than the news
I once held a job that required me to drive for fifteen hours per week. The CD player in the car didn’t work, so I listened to news radio instead. This lasted for two years.
1500 hours of news radio taught me that consuming more information doesn’t necessarily make me better informed. Real life affects me more than teen fiction ever could – so why do novels move me so much more than the news does?
Because the news full of completely irrelevant things, that’s why.
- Expert predictions about the future. If you tell me what the weather will be like tomorrow, I can use that to plan my day. If you tell me who the prime minister will be in a year, you’ve just polluted my brain. News radio taught me that any prediction A) has a best-before date and B) is either obvious or probably wrong.
- Things people said (as opposed to things they did). When you think of Chuck Palahniuk, do you think of him as A) that guy who told the San Francisco Bay Guardian that he didn’t have a TV, or B) the guy who wrote Fight Club? Time makes your actions matter more and your words less. (You can quote me on that.)
- Things celebrities did. The last famous actor to do something important was John Wilkes Booth (when he shot Abraham Lincoln). Since then it’s all “meltdowns”, “freakouts” and other overblown terms meaning “to speak candidly to a reporter”. When Britney Spears shaved her head, that wasn’t a “breakdown”. That was a “haircut”. These happen every day, and are not news.
- The results of sporting matches. I understand being excited about a match you’re currently participating in. I can even imagine how you might get excited about a game you’re currently watching. But who cares about the final score of a game you didn’t see?
I’m sure there’s more. But if there’s one thing less important than the news, it’s what I think about how unimportant the news is. I should take the high road and stop talking.
MITIFOTIT (Most Interesting Thing I Found On The Internet Today)
“I’m a criminal in China – the Chinese government has just banned fictitious time travel.”Most things that are illegal are illegal for a reason. Sometimes, though, some laws are wrong. Hilariously wrong, in fact.
ABOUT JACK
Jack Heath is the award-winning author of six action books for teens. His books are available from all good bookstores, including:You can also get them from Amazon or Book Depository, but you should read this first.
